write/ older entries/ / miss miranda/ burningtheletters.net

2003-06-30 - 11:56 p.m. neil young sings his "depression blues," but i always liked "sugar mountain" better. maybe it's because we were 20. and we couldn't be 20 forever. but it was always your mental illness, this orchestrated song, this tango you planned out nightly in your sleep. i followed, you led. i listened, you talked. i was crazy, didn't you see it? when i tried to hurt myself constantly, when i scratched my arms up in front of you just to get a bit of your attention, didn't you see it? we lived in a town that was depression laid bare and made tangible. i walked in it everyday, told my secrets to a notebook and stately brick walls. learned about restoration literature and stared out windows, wondering why you never ever fucking saw. you're still all "depression blues." i'm sick of that tune, you know? ( 0 tell me?)