write/ older entries/ / miss miranda/ burningtheletters.net

2002-12-19 - 12:44 p.m. i want it to stop pulsing, this love that comes out of me. i try to hide it behind feigned nonchalance, pretend indifference. i act as if we can touch each other's skin and bat our eyelashes in the candle-lit dark and not feel anything. i act like i can be all action, no feeling. but i can't, i won't. i won't. i won't. it's all just a feigned attempt to get you to love me, anyway. it's all convoluted. it all makes sense to me, but that doesn't mean it is good for me. it hurts, it makes me crave hurting myself, and it has to stop. yes. it does. ( 0 tell me?)