write/ older entries/ / miss miranda/ burningtheletters.net

2002-11-29 - 11:44 p.m. the girl coyly eating the fudgesicle, transferring theory into practice, distanced, a social scientist of her own creation. she can seduce. she can be seduced. she is intellegent enough to create her own post-modern art display just by seducing you with her theory, with her body that is really just theory made real, made tangible. (i'm sick yet i keep it together so well. i balance the two sides, know how to lay in bed and force myself back into form, to force all of the disparate and warring pieces back into one whole, one whole for the world to see. i get up, i get dressed, i'm cute, i wear nice things, i make sure my nylons haven't any runs. i put on some makeup, always reddish lips, always rosy cheeks. looking beautiful is key. they never suspect the beautiful. but i have untamed eyes, crazy eyes, that i can't even hide behind black eyeshadow and a wry smile. my hair is unruly and always one strand sticks up where it shouldnt. i try to make it all seem ok but reality fights with what i pretend. i can't keep it down, i can't always seduce the world.) i try to create the contrast of love: black hair and pale skin and red lips, sucking up the world, a vampire for you: i want to be calm, to be ok, to be level, to live with being sick and not have to throw myself on the bed lonely sobbing-- i'm a complete drama queen, and i want you, your calm almost cold artist self, you to balance me, to kiss each of my rosy cheeks one at a time, slowly, like you mean it. we could live out performance art together, could live out secret nights up at 3 am looking out of your window to the river, talking theory and practicing something entirely different. i try to seduce you, but you don't budge. and i want you, too, you know how i want you, what i want, i can seduce you so easily, with just the snap of my fingers or the blink of my eye. but i can't get past seduction theory 101, can't move you into me, move me into you, can't lick my lips enough to make you want to hold me forever. (miranda, you can't always seduce the world with brains and hips and poetry and idealism and red lips-- not everyone will budge, not everyone will stay. you can't always make them stay. you're all you've really got.) ( 0 tell me?)